Weird things keep happening!
by kasai tenshi
Summary: Some short stories starring the Death Note characters. Possible spoilers.
1. Always first

**Hi there!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. (like it wasn't obvious...)**

**Note: The stories have nothing to do one with another. I want to have all characters starring, if you have any special request, please voice it through a review. ;)**

* * *

**Always first**

Mello and a member of his gang were randomly going by car -somewhere-.

The random member who was driving suddenly stopped and said:

"Mello, we ran over an apple…"

"Go on!"

After a few seconds he stopped again.

"What is it now?" Mello yelled annoyed.

"Mello, we ran over a black notebook…"

"What the hell?! Don't stop for every insignificant object you happen to hit!"

The random member followed the order and went on. A few minutes later, Mello felt like they hit something big.

"Stop, damn it!"

"But Mello, you said…"

"Shut up you idiot!"

The member sighed.

"Erps, it looks like we hit something big and white…"

"A giant mutated rabbit?" suggested the member.

"OH MY GOD, it's Near!!!!!" screamed the blonde-haired boy.

Then an evil smirk spread across his face.

"Go back and forth, back and forth…"

"But Mello…"complained the member with horror imprinted to his face.

"Just do it!"

Mello then sadistically watched the white turning red, becoming quite unpleased. He then said:

"Hm, I just realized that this makes Near first even at dieing… Shit, he's always getting me…"


	2. Chain revenge

**Chain revenge**

Even nobody knew about this, Mello really loved art. To be more specific, sculpture. To be even more specific, chocolate sculpture.

One day, he had a brilliant idea.

"I want to have my own chocolate sculpture, so I would stare at it all day!"

Yes, he would seriously be able staring a whole day at the only two things he totally loved: chocolate and himself. As said as done- in a few days, Mello had his very own chocolate sculpture. Though he paid almost all of his part of L's inheritance, he thought it was worth.

* * *

Light was having a very boring day. He only thought about his new enemies, L's successors. They were so lame! All he knew was that Mello liked chocolate, and the other whose name was not worthy mentioning liked toys.

So he nicely wrote in his Death Note:

_Somebody__ from Mello's gang- tonight at 3 p.m._

_Die by eating all of Mello's chocolate_

Light figured that Mello had to have thousands of chocolate bars. Though he hadn't figured he had a chocolate sculpture…

He added to the note:

_Before eating, write on a piece of paper: "You__rs sincerely, Near."_

Then Light started laughing maniacally like the insane murderer he was.

* * *

The next day, all you could've hear from Mello were various curses, the most of them pleading the heavens or Kira to take Near's life.

He would've never thought that Near would do something as cruel as taking away all of his chocolate, even his sculpture! Well, it was obvious Near wanted too to stare at the sculpture all day (because the only two things he liked were Mello and toys), which Mello was able to comprehend, but what about his chocolate bars?! This asked for a true revenge!

And when Mello got his hands on the Death Note, that's why he killed almost the entire SPK. He was a rather good person, so he would never do something as cruel as taking Near's toys as he had taken his chocolate (there were that many that they wouldn't fit even third headquarters like Mello's).


	3. Why geniuses are weird

* * *

**Why geniuses are weird**

He had tripped over his heart. Now he had no way back.

"Damn names…they are fitting either way…"

Somewhere in L.A., a phone rang with a tune somehow resembling "What's up people".

"Yeah, what?" the phone was answered.

"Mello, it's Near."

"WTF?! Near, I hope you have a good enough reason for calling me on my cell!"

"Yeah, I want you to help me with something."

"WHAT????? I have to note this down. Let me guess… Kira caught you and now you are begging for my help?"

Mello mentally named the day the best of his life.

"No Mello, the investigation is going well."

Mello mentally renamed it the worst of his life.

"Then what is it?" he snapped. "I don't have all day, you know? Are you somehow trying to distract me from MY investigation?"

"Please tell me at least three brands of Belgian chocolate."

"?????????????????" (silence)

"What, you don't know any?" taunted Near.

" X, Y, Z, J, K, R,………." (**n/a: I'll leave them like that, so just imagine he said some, I don't wanna make publicity :D**)

He enounced about 10 brands without even breathing.

A big smile spread across Near's face.

"Thank you, Mello." he said as he hung up.

Mello was looking bewildered at the phone. Maybe Near was manipulated by Kira, after all! So, this meant Near would die! Mello mentally reestablished this as the best day of his life.

Near fixed some puzzle pieces with the names of the chocolate brands. The puzzle occupied all the room, like a freaky carpet. Near smirked, as he thought:

"_Mello, you're saying in vain you're not a __tool to solve my puzzle…"_


	4. The reason behind Mello's death

**The reason behind Mello's death**

It was a bright day at Wammy's house. Everybody was excited since it was L's visiting day.

Near was the most excited. When he saw L, he would snap out of his I'm-too-smart-and-bored-to-talk mood and actually become quite cheerful. This made Mello twitch.

L got out of his limo and greeted, but then a horde of crazy and genius children jumped on him, yelling different things, but most of them were "Please pick me as your successor!". He would shove them aside gently, and the stubborn ones he would bribe with chocolate. This explains allot about a certain blonde's obsession…

And after L would be finally free, he would run like a kid to Roger's office and lock it instantly, sighing relieved. Roger would only sweatdrop.

"Listen Roger, I heard something I don't like and I want to know if it's true."

"What is it L?"

"Well, I heard that my first and my second successor are constantly having fights, so I was thinking-"

"Who.. who told you this?" staggered Roger.

"Well, my third successor of course." Grinned L.

Roger sighed, then said:

"It can't be helped."

"Let me see what I can do about it."

"I hate saying this, but your chances are under 1 percent."

"1.2."

"You're such an optimist, L."

L smiled.

"Then, I'm going. Oh, what were their names anyway?"

Roger's jaw dropped. And he actually thought L knew something about them…

"It's Near, the white-haired one, and Mello, the short-tempered one."

L raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry, you would recognize them in an instant." Sighed Roger.

When L got in the yard, he understood what Roger was talking about. There was a blonde-haired kid which was screaming to some others and scaring the hell out of them. And in the exactly opposite corner, it was a white-haired one playing with a toy train. L sighed- things finally made sense…

He somehow came to the conclusion that if he would go to talk first with one of them, the other would have a jealousy crisis (probably Mello), or die from a heart attack (probably Near). **(a natural heart attack, but you can never know XD)**

Yoshi! Acting time! L cleaned his throat, then yelled like he would be able killing someone in the next second:

"…"

"_Shit, whose name should I call first?!_" Oh, this was more troublesome than he would've expected.

"_I shall take it alphabetically_", he decided.

"Mello and Near, come here if you somehow value your lame lives!"

There was a sudden silence, and everybody was holding their breaths, as if waiting to die the next second. The others then ran as hard as they could.

Perfect, L grinned inwardly.

The called ones were just staring. They couldn't make a move. Have they angered the almighty L?

Were they going to die? Tears almost fell down their cheeks.

"If you don't come here in 3 seconds I'll name Matt my first successor!" L 'encouraged' them.

They moved simultaneously with the speed of light. (**not THAT light XD**)

Mello was slightly shaking and almost dropped his bar of chocolate from his hand. Near was wide-eyed and close to crying.

"There are rumors." L stated as angry as he could play.

Only silence. L frowned at them. Near closed his eyes in despair.

"Whaat abouuut..?" Mello somehow whimpered.

"About my successors having constant and stupid fights."

"It's his fault!" snapped Mello pointing at Near.

L felt like head-desking.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about! You continually blame one another!" L snapped too, this time for real.

"Mello's complexes are not my problems." Mumbled Near.

"WHAT?!" screamed Mello enraged. "Why you…" he charged at Near.

L caught him just until he hit Near's face.

Near glanced at Mello like he was bored.

Roger was having a fun of a lifetime watching from his window the whole scene. He then muttered:

"Maybe 0.001, L…"

Mello would charge again at Near, but L already caught one of his hands.

L gritted his teeth.

"Look, why is it why you hate one another so much?"

"He's annoying." They both said in their personal manners.

L would only let go of Mello and scratch his neck. He really didn't know how to act towards children, since they would not listen to the voice of ration, geniuses or not. He would only stare.

Then Mello would restart eating his chocolate and Near would restart playing with the toy train. L left to eat some cake to heal his mental scars after he swore he will never ever have children.

"Hey, idiot, guess what?" suddenly said Mello.

Near didn't even bother lifting his head.

"I figured out that L just lost to us!" he cheerfully praised.

Near emptily stared at the other boy, then a smile began forming on his lips.

"This may as well be true…" said the white-haired thoughtful.

"No it may, it is!" laughed Mello.

Near giggled.

"Hey, how about we make a puzzle together?"

Near shifted his eyes:

"You hate puzzles."

"I do, but I just won a 1000 pieces one from that chocolate promotion and…"

Near nodded. Mello started ranting about random stuff.

That was the only known day when Mello and Near played together.

Roger said:

"L, you are really some of a wonder…"

L somehow sighed.

"It just happened, I did nothing. Maybe only being stupid around them helped."

His self-esteem just decreased by 5 percent.

"You should be proud instead of sobbing." Roger admonished L.

"Losing to some kids isn't exactly my idea about being the world's first three detectives…"

"But look at the good part- someday they would be able to even surpass you."

"Yeah, I guess I should be proud." L grinned.

Roger nodded.

L went to eat a big chocolate cake… which wasn't there anymore because Mello had already eaten it. L cursed and wished Mello could just die by a random and sudden heart attack.


End file.
